Living Abroad : Articles : TRAILING SPOUSE? SEIZE THE INITIATIVE!

TRAILING SPOUSE? SEIZE THE INITIATIVE!
By Amanda Olsson

Your spouse has been offered a job and the move seems exciting and full of possibilities. Then you find out you won't be able to work. Maybe your skills aren't transferable, or maybe the new country has employment restrictions. Whatever the case, you're about to join the ranks of the unemployed abroad, otherwise known as trailing spouses.

Of course, you could choose not to go. However, a long-distance relationship may not be your cup of tea.

If you do go, you may be able to work even if you were initially told this would be impossible. Some individuals I knew in Hong Kong were in this predicament. They took matters into their own hands, and once the working partners were well established, they explored a variety of options and eventually found jobs after receiving sponsorship from employers.

There are other possibilities: freelance work, starting a business and working without pay. Or, you could choose to further your education, locally or via the Internet. Any skills you acquire can be valuable in the long run.Your spouse has been offered a job and the move seems exciting and full of possibilities. Then you find out you won't be able to work. Maybe your skills aren't transferable, or maybe the new country has employment restrictions. Whatever the case, you're about to join the ranks of the unemployed abroad, otherwise known as trailing spouses.

Set Some Worthy Goals

Whether or not you're working, you'll want to make the most of your time abroad. The first thing you should do, I firmly believe, is buy yourself a really good camera. It can help you stay in touch with family and friends who are continents away, and it can let you assemble a pictorial memoir of your experiences

The second thing is draw up a list. Sit down with a glass of wine or a cup of java, if you prefer, and a pen. Now think of all the things that prompted you to agree to this move in addition to the companionship of your spouse. The lure of travel? The opportunity to appreciate a different way of life or to learn a new language? Write a list of all the things that you want to do, and keep adding to it. When you see something interesting in a newspaper or magazine clip it out, save it and add it to your list.

When we moved to Hong Kong, my list grew weekly. My list at first included - visit different countries though the region, learn Cantonese, and see the Great Wall of China. The longer I was there, the more variety in the items on my list. Looking back, I can see how different interests prompted new adventures.

One of my goals was to get fit. I learned tai chi, did a couple of classes of fan dancing and sword dancing, and then fell in love with dragon boating. I became the captain of a dragon boat team, bought a share in a boat and paddled in local races across Hong Kong. In the off-season, I stayed in shape by paddling an outrigger canoe, and paddled from Hong Kong to Macau and back. Our team was met by Immigration at Hac Sa beach, and it was an amazing experience paddling out of Hong Kong into the South China Sea and then back, past all the huge cargo ships laden with containers, past Pokfulam, past Aberdeen Harbour through to Deepwater Bay.

My next goal was to run. Although I started out as a particularly hopeless runner, I set my target on doing the Hong Kong mountain races. I started by running across the Hong Kong countryside in pouring monsoon rain. Next I ran a 10-kilometer race through the tunnels of Hong Kong in the early morning along with about 10,000 others people, and finally managed to run the 15-kilometer mountain races, my feet laden with red clay and my body slick with mud.

My next challenge was local cuisine. I decided to learn to appreciate congee. So I roped in a couple of friends, and we toured the dai pai dongs of the city trying different varieties of congee. My favorite? Fish with ginger and sliced shallots. A friend introduced me to turnips cake, fungus soup and fried esophagus. I toured the markets, and ate salted eggs, hundred-year-old eggs and dried Chinese sausages. I experimented with fresh tofu, ate taufu fa with hot ginger syrup, toured the wildlife markets in Guangzhou, became a restaurant critic and learned how to make Indian parati in the streets of Lan Kwai Fong.

Learning more of the local culture was also on my list. I learned Mahjong, bought an abacus, took classes in Chinese herbal medicine, joined a group that did historical walks though Hong Kong and visited Zhuhai on furniture expeditions. I toured the cargo terminals, dressed up in jockey clothes in the Hong Kong Jockey Club and appeared in the Apple Daily newspaper.

I organized a clean-up day for a local beach, danced on the bar in Wan Chai and sang karaoke. I learned how to bargain, I ate rat and I drank snake wine. I learned how to string pearls. I did a stint as a model, inspected factories in China, taught English at primary school and interviewed politicians. After freelancing for a while, I eventually went to work full time.

Looking back, I realize that most of these things weren’t on my original list and may not be on yours either, but they made my time overseas challenging, exciting and memorable. Carpe diem!

Amanda Olsson is Director of Crystal International Marketing and Communications Ltd. She has been an expatriate most of her life and can’t imagine living any other way.

Resources

The Accidental Diplomat: Dilemmas of the Trailing Spouse by Katherine L. Hughes
Diplomatic Baggage: The Adventures of a Trailing Spouse
by Brigid Keenan